The Mystery of the Seven Books

A little background:

When Jesus quoted Scripture He was quoting from what we know as “The Old Testament”. This is something to remember when we read His words like: “As it is written…..” . Jesus is referring to the Jewish Canons. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph were Faithful Jews and they knew the Jewish “Scripture” very well. Jesus, no doubt, spoke Aramaic and Greek. Until after the destruction of Jerusalem by Titus (A.D. 70) the “Christians” (followers of Christ) were regarded as a sect of the Jews. The Apostles considered themselves to be Jewish and having met the promised Messiah.

Two thousand years later, we may tend to think that the Jewish Faith of that time was monolithic – characterized by massiveness and rigidity and total uniformity. This is not the case. For example most Jews favored only scripture that was written in Hebrew and written in the Holy Land. This would be the Palestinian Canons. Other Jews favored the Alexandrian Canon which contained some Greek passages. The Alexandrian Canon has seven more books than the Palestinian Canon. See where the seven “Extra” books comes from in the Catholic Bible? We trace those books back to the time of Jesus. Where Christ quotes from “scripture”, and when the Apostles quote from “scripture”, they are quoting from the ALEXANDRIAN CANONS – the one with the seven “Extra” books! The Catholic Bible contains all the books that have traditionally been accepted by Christians since the Canon of Scripture was recognized by the Synod of Rome in 382.

The earliest Christians did not have an exactly defined canon of Scripture. Concerning the books of the Old Testament, the early Church generally used the Septuagint (the Greek translation of the Old Testament, translated about 250 B.C.). There was a difference within Judaism before Christ about the Old Testament. The Alexandrian canon was the longer canon and was the basis for the Septuagint. After the Temple was destroyed in 70 A.D. the Jewish Council of Jamma eventually rejected the longer Alexandrian canon. Their reason was that they only had Greek texts of these books which at that time was considered “un-Jewish.” They did not know at the time that the Hebrew originals of these books existed. There was some debate within the early Church as to the legitimacy of these “deuterocanonical” books. But Jerome translated all of them in the Vulgate, and the early Church recognized them at the Synod of Rome in 382.

Remember, St. Jerome was commissioned to translate all scripture of “Old Testament” into LATIN by Pope Clementine about 370 AD. St. Jerome included these seven books with history going back to 250 B.C. The Douay Rheims Bible is a word for word translation of the Vulgate. Douay Rheims has been used for 1500 years in the Catholic Church.

Now about 1500 years after Christ, and 1100 years after the Latin Vulgate, Martin Luther decided to favor the Palestinian Canons from a different group of Jewish Faithful. Luther removed the books that had been used by Christians for 1100 years+ and also used by Christ and the Apostles.

These include 1 and 2 Maccabees, Judith, Tobit, Baruch, Sirach, and Wisdom, and additions to the books of Esther and Daniel. These books are called Deuterocanonical by Catholics and Orthodox and Apocryphal by Jews and Protestants.

Quick summary: Catholics assembled the Bible and included books used by Christ and the Apostles. The Catholic Bible remained for 1100 years… essentially the same. Around 1550, seven books were removed from the Bible with 1100 year tradition.

8-30-19

Change of focus coming soon

About three years ago, I gave up watching TV 100%.
One of my best decisions ever.
I took an introspective look at myself and saw much
room for improvement.
I replaced TV time with book reading and prayer time.

1. Seeing people suffering from anxiety and depression has always
been a sensitive awareness to me. I can’t miss it. I’ve tried to help. Especially difficult is witnessing children being emotionally abandoned by their parents – due to alcoholism, narcissism, and passive-aggressive behavior. Tragic is the strong tendency for these parental behaviors to become a family legacy passed from parent to child from generation to generation.

2. I was helplessly watching my Country be “Fundamentally transformed”
from Judeo-Christian values protected by a Constitution
to secular anarchy – for without God we are lost in relativism. Gratitude is being replaced with entitlement. Politicians plotting for more power and ultimately a One World Government, simply buy votes with promises of free stuff. The resulting socialist disaster is frightening and so unnecessary.

After failures in helping people with their Cross and trying
to persuade others to be grateful for our Country,
I finally realized I could help most with PRIVATE PRAYER

Narcissistic Hate, and Cruelty Will Be Cured

I’m not willing to call children of narcissists who exhibit narcissistic behaviors real narcissists (Yet). However, the road to recovery has the same methods. In this passage narcissist and people showing narcissistic behavior will be treated as if the same thing, but there is a world of difference in cure rates between the two.

Why would I say narcissism needs to be cured? Usually the narcissist sees no problem with his/her behavior!

People with narcissistic behaviors can never be loved. It is impossible. The narcissist wears a mask pretending to be someone he/she is not. If the narcissist’s target falls in love, that love is for a person that does not exist. Sad and Pathetic, yes it is. It get’s more sad.

If the target understands the narcissist and gets to know the REAL PERSON behind that mask and still loves the narcissist – the friendship is still lost. The narcissist feels compelled to devalue and discard ANYONE that sees behind the mask. How does this play out? Tragically!

The pathetic narcissist goes from one friendship to the next (usually with a preplanned overlap) always with the pattern of: Idolize – Devalue – Discard. But even this scenario gets more sad. How?

Eventually the narcissist will delay the Devalue and Discard behavior until after a marriage. There is no escape. The narcissist, sooner or later is compelled to Devalue and Discard …. even the spouse.

Saddest of all , is after the Devalue and Discard (sometimes just an emotional discard) of the spouse, the narcissist’s anger and resentment for the discarded spouse makes it impossible for the narcissist to consistently care for the physical and emotional needs of their children.

As the narcissist is incapable of having EMPATHY he/she will not care about all the emotional pain that is caused. The narcissist will look for new targets to get his/her emotional “Fuel” . The new targets will get suckered into caring because the narcissist will claim to be a victim of many cruel people.

A rule of life: “Sooner or later the TRUTH always comes out”.

It is very messy and emotionally bloody, but if the narcissist refuses sincere loving help to overcome his/her wounds of emotional anarchy by understanding how these wounds developed and how they can be healed then the only way of helping the suffering narcissist is to PUBLICALLY EXPOSE THE REAL PERSON BEHIND THE MASK.

Ironically, if successful in this drastic approach, the former and healed narcissist will discover the person that has been hiding behind one mask after another is a person that is quite likeable and even loveable……. for real…… for who he/she really is.

The question of morality, the What-would-Jesus-do, is difficult to determine. Most experts recommend the “No Contact” approach. This is the run-in-the-other-direction advice. Good for the victim, no help for the suffering narcissist….. the future spouse of the narcissist….. the future children of the narcissist.

Saint Dymphna, Pray for us.

Joy Filled Memories – Ocean Biology and a Bit of Astronomy

About six miles East of Rye Beach, New Hampshire lies the “Isles of Shoals”. A group of small islands any one of which can be walked end to end in a few minutes. The ground is mostly granite and if one looks closely they will see the age layers of the granite are vertical not horizontal. I was told this sideways “up-turning” was caused during an ice age. Also, I remember catching flounder out there so large it was scary. (I was young.) The main island has an old wooden hotel used as a retreat for a religious group. There was a very small church made of granite and very old.

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Above is a chart showing the coastline of Cape Ann Massachusetts and North to York Maine. About fifty miles top to bottom and almost my entire world during the summers of the 1950’s and 1960’s. All this was long before GPS navigation and modern e-charts. “Inland Navigation” was accomplished by knowing your starting point, your direction of travel, and speed. (“Dead Reckoning”) To this day I remember the 12 ton – 36 foot “Tinamalyn” traveled 8 knots (9.2 MPH) when the propeller was turning 2000 revolutions per minute. [Tinamalyn was the name of the boat – a composite of my mother’s name “Tina” and my sisters’ names – Mary and Carolyn. The “Dingy”, lifeboat, was “Capt. Bobby”.] Most weekends during the summer we spent in Rockport or York. During the week, the Tinamalyn was docked in the Merrimack River.

Today with the GPS on your cell phone, you can determine your location easily within a couple of feet. Way back in my youth, we had to take bearings of known objects on the shore and plot position on the chart. When lucky, the accuracy was about a half mile. If the shore was too far and out of sight, one might use a radio direction finder and still have the error factor of a half mile or more. Still better than the very old method of using a sextant. However, the sextant was fun as a hobby.

The “Power Squadron” (now called US Power and Sail Squadron) was a hobby club of volunteers that taught small boat handling, and navigation. My dad ended up teaching the more advanced classes that involved celestial navigation. Several times during each summer, he would take a half dozen or so students out on the boat (at night) and have them practice their astronomy skills (identifying planets and stars) and then measuring angle of celestial body to ocean’s horizon with their sextant – thus determining our position. (Not my pictures, but showing a bell buoy, whistle buoy, and sextant.)

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My job was to bring the boat about 5 miles off shore and only my dad and I knew this predetermined location. We would leave the Merrimack River and head East. Being extra dark nobody noticed my passing the bell buoy and about a mile later the whistler. Quiet waters meant the buoys were not making much sound. At the whistler I’d turn North for one mile – determined by dead reckoning and a quick bearing on a water tower I could ID from flashing red light. The students were on the back deck taking their sights and when satisfied they would come in cabin and give me their determined latitude and longitude position. Give or take three square miles was a success. As a boy, it was fun being considered a peer with the adults.

The trip from Newburyport Massachusetts to York Maine took us by the entrance to Portsmouth NH and the Portsmouth Naval Station. It was not unusual to see the large Navy ships coming and going. I remember very well watching one of the new nuclear submarines surfacing less than a half mile away. That was exciting. My only time feeling FEAR was on a day I was traveling along the “Catwalk” (about 9 inches wide) and looked down to see about nine sharks traveling alongside. That day I held the handrail extra tight.

The best times for this Newburyport to York cruise was at night. Simply majestic and a bit spiritual. Being several miles from land, the were no lights to blind us from the sky. Especially on the small moon nights it would be breathtaking to look up and see all the stars. To the port side we could see a little land and the lights were just barely visible. I remember especially one night at a time the lighthouse on the Isles of Shoals was off the starboard bow, I looked to the stern (rear of boat) and saw the wake all lit up as if filled with millions of fireflies. (Left = port = red running light. Right = starboard = green running light)

I had seen this before, but never when the sky was so dark, the water so calm and the feeling so peaceful. Over fifty years ago, and I was thinking: “This is a moment to remember”. With the exception of legally required running lights we would be in darkness. Turning on a cabin light would blind the person at the helm. That said, even in darkness, our eyes did adjust to see over the ocean pretty well…. unless someone turned on the dang cabin light. I placed a “Heart” on the red course line in the above chart. Judging by position of lighthouse and my memory this was our position when I had this beautiful moment. (Again…. not my picture but a fair representation of the view. The wake (waves) behind the Tinamalyn was much higher. Also, view of ocean was darker if I remember correctly.)

 phos-wake

OK, the ocean water in Maine is very cold, but York was a great place to be – especially if you were a kid. I’ll have to write about more happy memories of these times, and eventually mention why York was so special.

A Perfect Family ?

Last Saturday 11/12/16, I attended a Faith Formation Day organized by Erin McGeever from the Diocese of St. Augustine. This particular event took place at Queen of Peace Catholic Church in Gainesville, Fl. This was a great event, and I was especially lucky to be in the “Scripture” classes taught by a very talented and knowledgeable lady – Pat Cook. Thank you all involved in making this event possible.

As usual, for me, I got to the church grounds well before the starting hour and this provided some time for prayer and reflection (a relatively new habit). God did not disappoint and helped me use this time constructively.

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To begin with, the physical structure is indeed beautiful and the church grounds aid prayer and reflection.

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I had this quiet time all to myself and spent it trying to understand some dilemmas and confusions I was working on in my personal growth in Faith. I’m pretty sure God helped me with some new insights, or at least better understanding of the concept of forgiveness and the folly of believing in earthly perfection. To set the mood, I walked through the doors that reminded me that this was the YEAR of MERCY as declared by our Holy Father in Rome.

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The next catalyst to thought was this statue that on first glance made me feel this showed “The Perfect Family”. This is what our families need to look like.

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Here we see a strong husband (maybe St. Joseph) lovingly holding, comforting, and protecting his wife. Wow… cannot get more perfect than this. His wife (presumably Mary… if this represents the Holy Family) is indeed comforted and secure in the arms of her husband. Utter Bliss, one might say. Two loving parents sharing their love and wisdom with their child – destined to grow up in a secure, loving, nurturing environment. THIS is the IDEAL we strive and pray for. In reality, here on earth, we will not see complete perfection in any person or family. Here we make mistakes. We hurt those we love. We fail our children sometimes – especially by not providing for their emotional support and protection from the outside world. We so often let our children down with the same weaknesses and wounds passed on to us from our parents and their parents before them.

Our failures continue by not showing Christian love and understanding to our neighbors. We hurt our friends’ feelings. We become selfish. When we demand (and fail) to be perfect ourselves, we become angry when we see imperfection in others. We treat family and friends as disposable objects when they fail to meet our impossible standards. We are all failures! Impatient with ourselves and impatient with others. As an individual, how can I exist being so imperfect? What can I do to become a better person? How can I help my family function in this imperfect world. As a FRIEND, how can I help others, especially the young, learn to function HAPPILY in this dysfunctional world? This statue is the ideal to work towards, but NOT the reality to expect.

I enter the next door with anxiety having been reminded of all the suffering we impose and have imposed on us. What do I do with this seemingly hopeless situation? I look forward and see the only real answer…… PRAYER.

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We do not pray to God for Him to change his mind and make earthly life perfect. We pray to God that we will learn how to respond to these imperfections according to His will….. what ever that is. Then as I walk closer to the alter I see His Will.

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“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” – Jesus     I see this as a good start. I pray for more understanding and patience. I pray for more love and more Grace. I pray to remember we are all children of God and we all belong in His community.

 

Prayer Is a Very Serious Activity.

For those that like “TRUTH” here is some truth.

Prayer cannot be taken for granted or treated lightly. The “Lord’s Prayer” (the Our Father”) is frightening if you think about it.

….Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us……”

Do you see what is being said to Our Lord? We are telling GOD that if we fail to forgive our neighbor that has offended us – then we do not want God’s forgiveness for our offenses against Him! As an example, a well meaning neighbor points out to me a bad behavior and near occasion to sin that I am committing. Maybe he is right. Maybe he is wrong. None-the-less, I respond with anger, hatred, and cruelty. I exterminate that person from my life. I never speak to that person again.

Do I really want God to forgive me my trespasses against Him in the same way? Do I really want God to respond to me with anger, hatred, and cruelty? Do I really want God to exterminate me from his existence? Do I really want God to never speak (or listen) to me again? Dear God, please continue to have more mercy for me than I have given to my neighbors.

I see only two choices. 1. Go to Hell. 2. Pray that I do a better job of forgiving my neighbor and THEN DO a better job of forgiving my neighbor. In this example, talking with my neighbor that criticized me will be a good first step that will give honor to God, and Grace to my soul.

Prayer is not a happy story to bring us a quick fix when upset over circumstances. First of all, the circumstances we are experiencing are known to God and He is allowing these experiences to happen. All our neighbors have been given a “Free Will” by God. Some of our neighbors will intentionally use this free will to do bad. Satan rejoices when people are hurt because the resulting sadness is Satan’s way to sneak unnoticed into our souls. Add anger, hatred, and cruelty to this sadness and Satan has easy entrance into our lives.

We cannot expect prayer to change circumstances as much as we should pray that prayer will change us. How we react to an injustice will determine our happiness. We need to pray that our behavior and our response to injustice (or perceived injustice) will be in keeping with the Will of God.

…Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil…”

We first need to change ourselves, not our neighbor and not the world. Prayer is the way to make changes in ourselves for the better with the help of God. THEREFORE, prayer requires introspection. We need to look at our weaknesses and wrongful behavior. This is not easy and a true honest examination of conscience can be down right depressing. In fact, praying harder is more depressing. This is hard work that may make us sad at times but will put us on the road to a happy eternal life. Put off the pain for now, and live the pain later and for eternity. If prayer makes us depressed and ashamed we are probably talking with God. If prayer makes us giddy and happy, we are talking to ourselves or possibly Satan.

We never know when our time here will be up. We do know that we will NEVER reach perfection here on Earth. We do know that God does not expect us to be perfect. He expects us to try to be more perfect today than we were yesterday.

As a child, I would pray that my alcoholic mother would stop drinking. She did not stop until she died. As a child I prayed for laws that would ban alcohol. The government did not ban alcohol and now Satan is adding laws to include mind altering drugs to our society.

As a child, I prayed as a child. God did hear my prayers. God gave me a righteous father that by example kept me from liquor and drugs. So, as an “Adult Child of an Alcoholic” I have some resultant insecurities but I am not a drinker…. by the grace of God. My children do not abuse alcohol. Our friends are non-drinkers or very light drinkers.  My prayers were answered in that God has kept the pain of alcoholism totally away from my adult life.  I feel deeply sorry for those living with an alcoholic.  I thank God He has spared me this “Cross” in my adult life.

As an adult in prayer I ask that the “Sins of our Parents do not visit upon their children”. I pray that this next generation with education and the Grace of God will turn away from all self harming activity.

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The Miraculous Medal

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Apparition Of Our Lady Of The Miraculous Medal

The Miraculous Medal owes its origin to the apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the Chapel of the Rue du Bac, Paris in the year 1830. She appeared as the Immaculata to St. Catherine Laboure, a novice with the Daughters of Charity. On July 18, the Immaculate Virgin, seated in the same chapel, had spoken gentle words of encouragement to the young novice. On November 27, the Virgin Mother showed St. Catherine the design of a medal which would remind people of the love and protection that Our Lady continually offers to God’s children. [http://www.ewtn.com/library/MARY/MEDALMI.htm]

My fellow Catholics, please remember to wear your Miraculous Medal.

My introduction to The Miraculous Medal came in the 1950’s during my eight years at Sacred Hearts School. There, the Sisters of Saint Joseph provided an excellent loving dedicated environment for our education. The wearing of the Miraculous Medal was strongly and repeatedly encouraged. I have worn a Miraculous Medal all my life and encourage all Catholics to wear one. Among other reasons, for me, it is a reminder that God is watching over me and expects me to follow his commandments and live a Christian Life.

Meditation Prayer with the Miraculous Medal

Mary, this medal is a sign and a guarantee of your presence. You are present because your power is present, your voice is present and your love is present. Therefore, O wonderful Sinless Woman and our Mystical Mother, we call on you now to fulfill your guarantee. Bring us the great graces you promised to those who carry this medal, especially to those who wear it around their neck. Make us perceive our presence now and always. Make us consciously experience your power, your love and your guidance, that in their strength we may begin to share in your perfect response to God and to each of his creatures, and join in your war with the ancient Serpent. Help us utterly abandon our self-centered feelings and preoccupations. Help us hear and understand you. Teach us to listen and learn. Help us respond to you today and always;, that made one with you we might more fully respond with the rest of the Church to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, participating in their life and unity.”

Lately I feel this Medal has also been a reminder to ask for help:

“The images on the medal were designed by the Blessed Mother and spoken to St. Catherine Laboure. Our Blessed Mother said that the rays coming from some of her fingers demonstrate the graces God gives through her to those who ask and are open.

There are some fingers where no rays are shown. Mary said that is to demonstrate the graces that are not given because they were not requested of her. Just another reminder of Matthew 7:7; “Ask and it shall be given to you”.” [https://churchpop.com/2016/03/03/5-reasons-wear-miraculous-medal/]

The Sisters of Saint Joseph told us that those wearing the Medal would be helped at the time of death so as to make peace with the Lord while still here on Earth. As a faithful Catholic, I feel the wearing of this Medal – a visible sign of our Faith – is important.

 

 Carrying Our “Cross” In Peace

 

Another step to grow in my faith was to learn the skills and strategies that help to live a “Properly ordered life” – regaining control of my life with the virtue (habit) of prudence. I went to a chiropractor who successfully eliminated pain in my arm by ‘Adjusting” (straightening) my spine. REALLY. It worked!

In like manner, I went to Confession and got an “Adjustment” that balanced my outlook and understanding and this helped to resolve an emotional pain. My “Penance” from the priest was to read about the Passion of Christ in the Bible and reflect on Jesus Christ’s unfair suffering. (Gospel According to Saint Matthew Chapter 27) It did not take long for me to stop feeling sorry for MY petty suffering. In addition, I have followed this line of thinking to gain a more “Properly ordered life”, through prayer since this experience.    Here is another example:

In this post I try to explain how PRAYER has brought me better understanding of the need to pick up my Cross and follow the example of Jesus. God does not require me to be successful. He expects me to do my best to glorify Him by honestly TRYING to do His work on earth.

This is raw emotion more than literature….. I’m doing my best.

Recently, I tried to do a righteous deed, but with my limited knowledge and limited foresight I feel that I failed. In The Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius he writes his 14 rules of Discernment. The second part of Rule 1 Reads: “ … the good spirit uses a contrary method, stinging and biting their consciences through their rational power of moral judgment. Well, I’m sure this works for “Good Spirits” but my attempt did nothing but make matters worse. I pray that the Holy Spirit will protect, strengthen, and Bless my lost “Effort” to ultimately accomplish God’s Will. Prayer brings us Faith and Peace.

It is sad for us when a friend loses his life. We will miss that friend but be comforted, in time, with the happy memories. It is more sad when a friend loses his mind, like in Alzheimer’s Disease, or severe Mental Depression. For in this, the sadness continues for a long time while we watch helplessly in any effort to relieve the suffering. It is most tragic when a friend risks losing his SOUL for there will be no consolation of knowing the joy and happiness of eternity in heaven. All we can do is hope and pray for God’s Mercy and Intervention.

So, here I am with deep regret that I failed to guide a friend confused by overwhelming emotions. In my failure to help and in my resulting depression and accompanying “Panic Attacks” I envision all the bad that might come from my failure. Yes, I forgot that God works on His timetable. Desperately I prayed the rosary for help and this was a day for the Sorrowful Mysteries. (God begins to guide and comfort me.) The first Sorrowful Mystery : “The Agony in the Garden”. Here we are reminded that Christ sees all the “Mistakes” of all his people of all times – past, present and future. My suffering is just over my mistake and the possible harmful mistaken choice of my friend. Then, during this first decade of the Rosary I regained some strength by realizing Christ’s suffering was so much greater than mine. I was foolish, weak, and unfocused for being frozen over so much less pain than Christ endured. I prayed more to be stronger.

The second Sorrowful Mystery: “The Scourging at the Pillar”. People that I love and respect got angry and critical of my trying to help this depressed person in need. I was told to give up… that person was not worth the effort, concern or love. I felt like I was being attacked. Unfairly attacked.  How could I compare the criticisms directed at me when Christ, a total innocent, suffered attacks of violence, mental cruelty, and hate. My cross was nothing compared to Christ’s Scourging. I had not right to complain and feeling sorry for myself was foolish. Yes, I know my emotions are still raw, but my intellect now reminds me that God is with me. I pray for guidance and I pray for my still suffering friend.

I failed to help my friend in need. I was criticized for trying, and mocked for not knowing my place. As a final humiliation, my friend -still suffering depression and panic attacks- exterminated me from our friendship. This really hurt. However when I get to the third decade of my rosary I am reminded how Christ was humiliated with a crown of thorns. Obviously, Christ understands my pain and helps me with the comfort of this understanding. Prayer does help.

By the forth decade (Christ Carries the Cross) I am still feeling the depression from failure, criticism, and loss of a most valued friendship. Yes, I tried to do a righteous act, but in what looks like complete failure I am alone with nothing to show for my efforts other than the knowledge that I tried my best. When Christ carried His Cross, it looked like failure. So I am comforted knowing that my friend may someday benefit from my efforts and prayers. I pray that the “evil one” will never again take advantage of my friend’s depression and panic attacks.

In the fifth decade, Christ dies on the Cross. During this decade, knowing I am “Dead” to my friend, I pray that the Holy Spirit will watch over my friend in my absence. I pray for a miracle.

OK, so this is a sad chapter in my life complicated by the fact that I can easily empathize with the pain of depression suffered by my friend. I have suffered depression – severe depression- several times in my life. I am learning that I cannot let my experiences in life set me into a panic when I see a person living the same nightmare….. even a good and loved friend. A lesson learned the hard way is to try PRAYER first. For now I pray for my friend daily and wait for God to “tell” me what to do and when to do it.

 

 

Leave the Past to God’s Mercy

Working hard on my life in prayer and discernment. On third month of zero TV and TV news and not missing it at all. Still, trying to improve my understanding of how God wants me to be is difficult. Again in this post, I share my readings and thoughts.

In what does your life consist except two things:

Active Duties; and

Passive Circumstances.

The first is under your control; these do in God’s name. The second is outside your control; these submit to in God’s name.

Consider only the present;

Leave the past to God’s justice [Mercy],

The future to his providence.

Perfection of personality does not consist in knowing God’s plan, but in submitting to it as it reveals itself in the circumstances of life.”-Archbishop Fulton Sheen; The Seven Words of Jesus and Mary

Knowing God’s Will takes time and prayer. Of course we know the general basics of God’s Will. The 10 Commandments, “Love they neighbor”, “Do unto others…”, and following the example of the way Jesus lived His life are the guidelines we should follow. But what do we do when we have a specific decision to make or come to the proverbial “Y” in the road?

When in doubt, just follow God’s general rules until we determine specifically what we are to do. Frustration or fear may lead to anger – a sin in itself when acted out. Held in anger leads to depression. Held in depression leads to anger. If God does not answer our prayers, or more likely, if we fail to hear God’s whisper, we need to pray for patience and understanding. Seldom do we need to make a decision immediately without giving time for prayer and reflection. While waiting for specific understanding, just follow the general rules.

Sometimes, knowing when to act is more important than knowing how to act. – Sheen

For me, this is hard because I tend to act first on emotion. “Feelings” have not served me well in my life and I must try harder to avoid decisions made on my feelings.

Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is “timing” it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.   – Fulton J. Sheen

Patience is hard for me. With my prayer, I shall do better.

Sometimes the only way the good Lord can get into some hearts is to break them.   -Fulton J. Sheen

Passive Dependent People

I like the works of Dr. M Scott Peck – a psychiatrist that never forgot that we human beings have a soul, we are answerable to the Higher Power, and there is a right and a wrong. He never forgot about God. So many in the mental health profession today seem to be godless. As a reminder, here is how Dr. Peck defines “Love”.:

Dr. M Scott Peck wrote: “I have defined love as the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth. Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love.”

Would it not be good if we all would love in this way?

Here are a few paragraphs from Dr. Peck describing “Passive Dependent Personality Disorders.” Prepare to be sad.

People with this disorder, passive dependent people, are so busy seeking to be loved that they have no energy left to love. They are like starving people, scrounging wherever they can for food, and with no food of their own to give to others. It is as if within them they have an inner emptiness, a bottomless pit crying out to be filled but which can never be completely filled. They never feel “full-filled” or have a sense of completeness. They always feel “a part of me is missing.” They tolerate loneliness very poorly. Because of their lack of wholeness they have no real sense of identity, and they define themselves solely by their relationships.”
– M. Scott Peck

“Specifically, one whose life is ruled and dictated by dependency needs suffers from a psychiatric disorder to which we ascribe the diagnostic name “passive dependent personality disorder.” It is perhaps the most common of all psychiatric disorders. People with this disorder, passive dependent people, are so busy seeking to be loved that they have no energy left to love.”
– M. Scott Peck

“The inner feeling of emptiness from which passive dependent people suffer is the direct result of their parents’ failure to fulfill their needs for affection, attention and care during their childhood. It was mentioned in the first section that children who are loved and cared for with relative consistency throughout childhood enter adulthood with a deep-seated feeling that they are lovable and valuable and therefore will be loved and cared for as long as they remain true to themselves.

Children growing up in an atmosphere in which love and care are lacking or given with gross inconsistency enter adulthood with no such sense of inner security. Rather, they have an inner sense of insecurity, a feeling of “I don’t have enough” and a sense that the world is unpredictable and ungiving, as well as a sense of themselves as being questionably lovable and valuable.

It is no wonder, then, that they feel the need to scramble for love, care and attention wherever they can find it, and once having found it, cling to it with a desperation that leads them to unloving, manipulative, Machiavellian behavior that destroys the very relationships they seek to preserve.

As also indicated in the previous section, love and discipline go hand in hand, so that unloving, uncaring parents are people lacking in discipline, and when they fail to provide their children with a sense of being loved, they also fail to provide them with the capacity for self-discipline.

Thus the excessive dependency of the passive dependent individuals is only the principal manifestation of their personality disorder. Passive dependent people lack self-discipline. They are unwilling or unable to delay gratification of their hunger for attention.”
– M. Scott Peck

“It is said that “neurotics make themselves miserable; those with character disorders make everyone else miserable.” Chief among the people character-disordered parents make miserable are their children. As in other areas of their lives, they fail to assume adequate responsibility for their parenting. They tend to brush off their children in thousands of little ways rather than provide them with needed attention.”
– M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

“Dependency may appear to be love because it is a force that causes people to fiercely attach themselves to one another. But in actuality it is not love; it is a form of anti-love. It has its genesis in a parental failure to love and it perpetuates the failure. It seeks to receive rather than to give. It nourishes infantilism rather than growth. It works to trap and constrict rather than to liberate. Ultimately it destroys rather than builds relationships, and it destroys rather than builds people.”
― M. Scott Peck

“One of the problems that people commonly have in their adult relationships if they have never received a firm commitment from their parents is the “I’ll desert you before you desert me” syndrome.  – M. Scott Peck

“Boy Crazy” , or “Daddy Issues” are terms used to minimize the pain and suffering of these victims of a loveless home. Beware….. inconsistent love also causes the same sad effects. I find it distressing to see young people dating. Ironically, the most desperate-for-love children are the ones allowed to get into emotional situations that they are too immature to understand. They get emotionally hurt over and over causing a cycle of more desperate searches for “Love”. Their parents seem not to notice or not to care and are all too willing to sacrifice their children to the godless society of amoral rules of behavior.

On the other hand, children that come from a home where they know there is love are more emotionally mature and ironically do not seek the roller coaster of emotions associated with pre-mature dating. When THEY venture out into the world, they have a much better handle on who they are.

In short, if your 13 – 14 – 15 – 16- 17 – and 18 year old are desperate to date…… you are not providing enough love and security at home. Children need to know Mom and Dad love them.